Twins

The Faded Butterfly Tattoo On The Top Of Her Foot Left Me With More Answers Than Questions

$290.00

Momma Just Poured Herself A Big Ol’ Honkin’ Glass Of Giggle Soup (AKA Pinot Grigio), So Prepare Yourself For Some Moderate Gaiety

$910.00

My Attempt To Impress My Date By Asking For A Water Cup And Then Filling It With Soda Has Proven Unsuccessful

$1,100.00

While The Judge Begrudgingly Conceded That I Did In Fact Possess “Big Dick Energy,” He Ruled It Was Not Sufficient To Allow Me To Park My 1990 Dodge Caravan In Parking Spots Reserved For Electric Vehicles

$1,425.00

The Only Reason Professional Competitive Eating Has Not Claimed The Title Of America’s Sexiest Sport Is The Post-Competition Effluvia

$1,050.00

John

$75.00

Carol

$50.00

Thomas

$50.00

Kerry

$50.00

Beverly

$50.00

Lou

$50.00

Don’t Let My Advanced Age And “Dog Grandpa” Bumper Sticker Fool You - I Am Still A Virile Cocksman Who Isn’t Above Switching Teams To Cuddle With A “Cat Aunt”

$4,300.00

The Ephemeral Nature Of These Fakakta Anomalies

$5,875.00

The Wheels Of Justice May Turn Slowly, But As Of Late It Seems Like They’re Just Taking Their Sweet Ass Time

$2,825.00

My Parents’ Brilliant Solution To My Childhood Tremblings And Hysterics Was To Buy Me A Fainting Couch—Which They Later Admitted Was Just A Dog Bed They Had Picked Up At Costco

$925.00

Financial Decisions You Make Today Will Ultimately Determine The Type Of Cat Food You Will Subsist On In Retirement: Generic Dry Kibble Or That Super Fancy Wet Stuff That Comes In A Can

$825.00

Checking In After A Week-Long Digital Detox Confirmed My Suspicions That My Friends And Followers Give Fuck-All About My Fraught Relationship With Technology

$2,075.00

Her Affair With The Sign Spinner Was Disappointing And Drawn Out, Much Like The Dress Barn Going Out Of Business Liquidation Sale That He Had Been Advertising

$1,075.00

Trying To Remember The Title Of The Beatrix Potter Book About The Wee Mouse Who Lived In A Pub, Fell Into A Pint And Wound Up Completely Off His Tits

$900.00

Santa’s Village

$1,950.00

Dick & Jane

$875.00

Help Me

$675.00

Mourning Doves

$1,950.00

Claude

$1,600.00

Twins

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Twins

More in this Collection

The Faded Butterfly Tattoo On The Top Of Her Foot Left Me With More Answers Than Questions

Momma Just Poured Herself A Big Ol’ Honkin’ Glass Of Giggle Soup (AKA Pinot Grigio), So Prepare Yourself For Some Moderate Gaiety

My Attempt To Impress My Date By Asking For A Water Cup And Then Filling It With Soda Has Proven Unsuccessful

While The Judge Begrudgingly Conceded That I Did In Fact Possess “Big Dick Energy,” He Ruled It Was Not Sufficient To Allow Me To Park My 1990 Dodge Caravan In Parking Spots Reserved For Electric Vehicles

The Only Reason Professional Competitive Eating Has Not Claimed The Title Of America’s Sexiest Sport Is The Post-Competition Effluvia

John

Carol

Thomas

Kerry

Beverly

Lou

Don’t Let My Advanced Age And “Dog Grandpa” Bumper Sticker Fool You - I Am Still A Virile Cocksman Who Isn’t Above Switching Teams To Cuddle With A “Cat Aunt”

The Ephemeral Nature Of These Fakakta Anomalies

The Wheels Of Justice May Turn Slowly, But As Of Late It Seems Like They’re Just Taking Their Sweet Ass Time

My Parents’ Brilliant Solution To My Childhood Tremblings And Hysterics Was To Buy Me A Fainting Couch—Which They Later Admitted Was Just A Dog Bed They Had Picked Up At Costco

Financial Decisions You Make Today Will Ultimately Determine The Type Of Cat Food You Will Subsist On In Retirement: Generic Dry Kibble Or That Super Fancy Wet Stuff That Comes In A Can

Checking In After A Week-Long Digital Detox Confirmed My Suspicions That My Friends And Followers Give Fuck-All About My Fraught Relationship With Technology

Her Affair With The Sign Spinner Was Disappointing And Drawn Out, Much Like The Dress Barn Going Out Of Business Liquidation Sale That He Had Been Advertising

Trying To Remember The Title Of The Beatrix Potter Book About The Wee Mouse Who Lived In A Pub, Fell Into A Pint And Wound Up Completely Off His Tits

Santa’s Village

Dick & Jane

Help Me

Mourning Doves

Claude

INFO

WANT SECRET SALES? NEW ITEM ALERTS? JOIN THE LIST!

JOIN OUR MAILING LIST