Original Paintings

To see more original paintings, please visit www.mattadrian.com. To be alerted as soon as new paintings are available, sign up for Matt's fine art mailing list.
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"“What Earned Me The Nickname “Congenital Idiot” Was When I Lurched Shitfaced Out Of A Karaoke Bar High On A Deranged And Dream That Blue-Eyed Soul Could Save The World”

$790.00
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‘I Apologize For Being Pissy—It’s Just That Social Distancing Is Anathema For Someone Whose Most Uttered Phrase Is ‘I’m A Hugger’

$875.00
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Surprise, Surprise —This Self-Described 'Cheeky Bastard' Turned Out To Be Just A Run-Of-The-Mill, Garden-Variety Bastard

$1,025.00

Here’s The Opening Number From My Solo Show...

$790.00
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Horny For Normalcy

$875.00
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I Always Have To Stop And Ask Myself—Is This My Extreme Paranoia And Anxiety, Or Am I Just Freaking The Fuck Out?

$625.00
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The Faded Butterfly Tattoo On The Top Of Her Foot Left Me With More Answers Than Questions

$290.00
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Momma Just Poured Herself A Big Ol’ Honkin’ Glass Of Giggle Soup (AKA Pinot Grigio), So Prepare Yourself For Some Moderate Gaiety

$910.00
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While The Judge Begrudgingly Conceded That I Did In Fact Possess “Big Dick Energy,” He Ruled It Was Not Sufficient To Allow Me To Park My 1990 Dodge Caravan In Parking Spots Reserved For Electric Vehicles

$1,425.00
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The Only Reason Professional Competitive Eating Has Not Claimed The Title Of America’s Sexiest Sport Is The Post-Competition Effluvia

$1,050.00
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My Parents’ Brilliant Solution To My Childhood Tremblings And Hysterics Was To Buy Me A Fainting Couch—Which They Later Admitted Was Just A Dog Bed They Had Picked Up At Costco

$925.00
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I Noticed Her Freak Flag Was Only Flying At Half-Mast, But Didn’t Want To Pry

$1,575.00
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My Last Post Got 26 Likes, So, Yeah, I Kinda Got Life By The Balls

$900.00
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I Once Thought The Lord Would Never Give Me Anything I Couldn’t Bear Until He Gave Me a Tween Son Whose Only Talent Is Creating GIFS That Cause Seizures

$825.00
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I Wouldn’t Call My Mother A Monster, Per Se, But Her Annual White Elephant Exchanges Are Responsible For One Alcoholic, Three Destroyed Marriages And The End Of A Genealogical Lineage

$1,050.00
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The Road To Hell Is Paved Not With Good Intentions, But With A Thick Carpet Of Loose Legos

$850.00
SOLD OUT

She Felt As If She Was On The Cusp Of Outgrowing The Type Of Man Apt To Dangle A Latex Novelty Scrotum From The Rear Bumper Of A Pickup Truck

$825.00

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